Chapter 52: Ukukotiza

 

The wedding celebrations were over, but my journey as a new wife was just beginning. After the traditional ceremony, I was expected to remain at my husband's family home for a month. This was part of the tradition known as ukukotiza—a period during which a new bride settles into her new home, learns the customs of her husband's family, and embraces her responsibilities as a makoti. Relato, my umakotshana—my bridesmaid and companion—stayed with me for the first two days to help me adjust before returning to Johannesburg.

I wore my pinafore and doek, the simple attire of a newly married woman. It was a humbling experience, a reminder that I was no longer just Mapaseka Mokoena. I was now Mapaseka Qwabe, a daughter-in-law of the Qwabe clan.

"I cannot believe you are married," Relato said, shaking her head. "My best friend is a married woman."

"I cannot believe it either," I laughed. "It still feels like a dream."

"It is not a dream," she said, squeezing my hand. "It is real, and you deserve every bit of happiness."

The first two days passed quickly. I helped MaKhumalo with the household chores, learning the rhythm of the home. I cooked, cleaned, and listened to the stories of the older women. They taught me about the history of the Qwabe clan and the traditions I would now carry forward.

"It is important to know where you come from," MaKhumalo said. "You are part of this family now. You must honour the ancestors."

"I will, Mama," I replied.

Although I still had many weeks of ukukotiza ahead of me, it was time for Relato to return home.

On the morning of her departure, Qondanisa and I drove her to King Shaka International Airport.

The drive was filled with laughter as we relived the unforgettable moments from the wedding. Relato teased Qondanisa about how he could not stop looking at me throughout the ceremony, while I laughed and denied blushing every time our eyes met.

"You two are impossible," Relato said, smiling. "I have officially become the third wheel."

Qondanisa chuckled. "You knew that was going to happen the day she said yes."

"I know," she replied dramatically. "Now I have to go back to Johannesburg all by myself while my best friend stays here for another month, learning how to be the perfect makoti."

I smiled.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," she said. "But don't worry. A month will fly by before you know it."

When we arrived at the airport, Qondanisa helped her with her suitcase while I walked beside her toward the departures entrance.

She stopped before going inside and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too," I whispered.

She looked at me with a smile.

"Take care of your husband."

"I will."

Then she turned to Qondanisa.

"And you..."

He smiled knowingly.

"I know."

"If you ever make my best friend cry, you'll have me to answer to."

Qondanisa laughed.

"I love her too much to let that happen."

Relato nodded with satisfaction before hugging him.

"I'm trusting you with my sister."

"You have my word," he replied.

She picked up her suitcase, waved one last time, and disappeared through the departure gates.

I stood there until she was no longer in sight.

Qondanisa slipped his hand into mine.

"You okay?"

I nodded.

"I am. I'll just miss her."

He smiled gently.

"You still have us, Mama, and the rest of the family. And before you know it, your month will be over."

I squeezed his hand.

"I know."

Together, we walked back to the car, ready to return home and continue the beautiful journey that had only just begun.